My Senior Speech

Those of you who know me know that I have an insane sleeping schedule, and the word “routine” lives far from it. That’s because I’d rather get to know someone a little more than finish my homework sooner. People over homework, a beautiful moment and a good laugh over the paper I’m required to write, always. My worst nightmare is living like a machine, and this is what I feel high school has been like for me because I always made sure I got my work done, no extensions, no excuses. No sleep? Well, that’s okay as long as I get the homework done on my own terms. I do this to balance out the fact that I have to do it. If I have to write this paper, then I might as well enjoy myself while I’m doing it and let myself get interrupted by the music playing to sing a verse or to take a phone call from a friend who needs help. I’ll take a moment as it comes no matter the time or circumstances. I don’t care about getting to a class a minute late when I’m having a conversation with someone who never talks to me.

It seems like my passion, my expectations, and my responsibilities can’t all exist in the same time frame. And as much as I try to find the root of the problem, I can’t figure myself out because I can’t picture myself doing things any other way. It’s this exact way of being that allows me to be completely immersed in almost every class and take the opportunity to get to know my teachers. It’s this commitment to appreciating and finding something special in as many hours of my day as possible that gives me the courage to be personal, feel deeply, and speak my mind without fearing that someone didn’t hear me, no matter how devastating it is when I’m not heard. It’s what has been stopping me from buying coffee from Starbucks lately, since I carry a little more guilt with every dollar I spend, but what also still glorifies that time when a freshman told me she reads my blog. I’ve been carrying the wisdom of a documentary for months now, but also miss people who aren’t in my life anymore every day. It’s like feeling in extremes and this very description is captured in those times when people ask me what’s wrong just because I’m not smiling.

But I’m realizing more and more how much power we have. This gets complicated, but in a religious discussion I wholeheartedly defended the human ability to appreciate. Whatever God there is can put a gorgeous landscape or an object of love in our faces, but he can’t make us smile and be thankful. Only we can do this. Not only do I believe that it’s our responsibility to smile, but we can also create moments of fulfillment. We can enhance the goodness before us by being open to inspiration, by writing poetry where words together capture more of the world than when they stand alone. This is what I’ve learned most throughout these high school years. As hard as my first couple of years here were and as much as I’ve taken to heart every moment of feeling invisible, I never forget all that I’ve learned and everyone who has felt for and with me. Now I find something special about this place every day, the complete opposite of how I felt about Riverdale two years ago. Of course, I have bad days, too. But I’ve been reminded that feelings are also temporary and that comes with our power. So with a deep breath, I can wish a little sadness away and make happiness last longer. We can all do this. It’s funny because even though my experiences here taught me to live this way, I also think Riverdale needs this. Seniors, let’s not make these last days mediocre in spirit. Be quick to kindness; have a comfy confidence that welcomes others around you to be themselves; take a risk for yourself; connect more; be healthy; smile freely; laugh easily.

Thank you.